is the second Grace
and one of the most powerful forces
in the universe.
Forgive yourself and forgive others
- and let it all go.
Guilt is not a natural human state of being. It is something we are programmed with by our parents and influential others around us as we grow up. Shame comes from fear, also not natural to spiritual humans but a very useful tool of our ever present ego.
Yes, we do things wrongly, incorrectly, in a nasty fashion, for unhappy confused reasons, etc etc but .. if it is something you have done to someone else, ask their forgiveness - either in person, in writing (posted or not), or by bringing their face to mind and talking to their higher self. And if you truly mean it, whatever their response is - living or in writing, you have done the right thing. The higher self of the person will always forgive you because they know 'why' you did things - not the why you think you know, but the reason the person asked you to act that way for them before you both came into the world.
If it is something that was done to you - forgive yourself for being helpless, for allowing it to happen, for making that choice to have the event in your life, for not being strong enough, or brave enough, to protect yourself - or someone else - and recognise that what you learn from it is most important - how you react to it now is lesson. If it is something that you have carried from childhood, then review the event as gently as you can - but now from an adult's perspective, and have an adult's understanding, because the guilt and the shame might still be from the child's perspective.
Forgiveness is like an onion - a healing of many layers
Forgiveness is a process of stripping off layers of pain. Everytime you remember something that makes you feel guilt or shame you add another layer of pain over the top of the event to try and cut yourself off from the emotional memory. Layer by layer you build up this blockage between you and healing peace. And layer by layer is how we take it away. Forgiveness is a process of remembering that you have chosen to act that way and feel that way. No, it may well not be easy, and forgiving someone who has hurt you may be the last thing you think you want to do - but again, that is only the wounded ego screaming its childish defiance and need to feel completely safe, into an empty space that could be so filled with Love, that doesn't need to be empty anymore.
Forgiveness is a moment to moment process and in the beginning you might forgive yourself, or someone else, half-heartedly, but after a while, done whenever the pain resurfaces, you will find that it becomes easier and easier.
I had to forgive my father and grandfather. In the beginning it went something like this -
AND I FORGIVE MYSELF FOR ALLOWING IT TO HAPPEN
And there lies the complication of living a spiritual life .. but more on that later ..
(So yes, I was yelling). You don't need to think about what they did, just do the process. In a short while, because I wanted it to be short, I just let go and yes, I had the experiences, but the emotions connected to them then are not there now, and neither is the pain. It was, and always will be, my choice to heal. Just as it is yours, and everyone else's choice to heal - or to stay in pain.
The Love of Heaven and the angels is with all of us from the moment we choose to change how we feel about ourself. The Raphaels are waiting - they always help. And the Michael are a great rod for our backs when we want to fall in a heap and go back into feeling sorry and helpless. Tell them you need their help to stay focused on your healing journey.
There is another form of guilt that is empathy based called family guilt. Let it go too. You share a strong empathic bond with your family. Look for the email I posted a couple of days ago about white light shields, put one around yourself and disconnect yourself from your family energy - the negative stuff - for a while, to help your healing. You don't disconnect from the family, just the patterns of negativity that everyone interacts through.
You don't forgive a person because they say they are sorry. You forgive them regardless. There is no half-way forgiveness. Forgiveness has to be unconditional otherwise it is not real. It is your decision based on how you feel about yourself, and for your own benefit, not based on their actions. They may never be sorry, until they go into Healing when they die. It is from there that we understand everything about our lifetime so much more clearly.
Our anger hurts us. If the other person chooses to ignore it, where is the lesson? No, anger is a reaction of our ego self to something we don't want to happen. It comes from our fear. We can choose not to be angry, and choose to heal from it quickly, by forgiving ourselves and the whomever we allowed to hurt us. And by letting go. That is changing negative thought patterns.
I agree that it can be very difficult to stop negative thoughts. As humans we are so good at dwelling on the negative. It takes training, and patient practice, to change our focus to the positive.
Spirit has spent years teaching me to watch my thoughts and feelings so that I do not create negativity to the best of my ability. I'm definitely not perfect at it, but I'm learning.
You know what forgiveness does, it heals the giver. Many people get trapped in those personal hells when they die. I use the measure of my life in my work. Would I like to be a lost soul, trapped in a bubble created by my own fears, beliefs, memories - going over and over the same events until I am numb and then insane? It's difficult enough that we do it to ourselves when we are alive.
Sometimes we want people to be punished for what they do to us, but this desire punishes us because we do not let go of the past, and the hurt, and look for peace.
We come to earth to have a happy life, to learn and grow. Remaining trapped in our past removes our future.
So that is why I wrote what I did. Because I know we can all heal, when we choose to.
Everyone deserves forgiveness. If you can single out someone else, you will hold the same belief about yourself - that you won't deserve it for some act or other.
Forgiveness is an act of Grace. If you want to go biblical about it - it was that that saved humanity from God's so-called wrath when JC died on the cross. He didn't say 'save only those I decide are good enough', He said 'Father forgive 'them'' .. all of us.
Everyone has their own measure for what is right and wrong, and what they will 'allow' or not. We can't judge anyone else's choice, but I know that as humans we are all learning about unconditional Love, that Love which is given to each of us daily by Spirit. If they can allow all of us to be who we are, without judgment, surely we can try and do the same.
As a lovely lady told me recently, we don't have to condone another person's actions, nor have anything more to do with them after we forgive them - but we do the forgiving for our own healing, and our own search for Grace. They may never know that we have done this, though after a time there may be an opportunity to tell them - for their healing.
Yes, forgiveness can be a challenge if we have invested a lot of emotion, and a desire to stay angry, in the process. Otherwise it is like any other choice we make. One day perhaps we will all be able to see the bigger picture, and remember that everything that happens to us happens for a reason - because we chose the lessons painful events create. They show us our strength, and often our capacity to love others, and ourselves.